Marriage? Think Again

Tadi kumpul bareng temen-temen SMA yang notabene isinya cewek-cewek. Kami nggosip dan sebagainya sampai akhirnya ngobrolin pernikahan, ini merupakan topik yang cukup hangat karena di sekitarku teman-teman sebaya udah banyak yang sampai ke level yang lebih serius: menikah dan punya anak. Kami sendiri ternyata mempunyai pandangan yang sama soal pernikahan, yaitu tidak ingin cepat-cepat karena merasa masih ingin memiliki kebebeasan sebagai seorang pribadi yang utuh.

Kemudian salah seorang temanku menyuruhku membuka favorites dari akun tweet dosennya, @maria_ananta. Di situ dijelaskan bahwa marriage ga segampang dan seindah seperti yang di tivi-tivi...Aku coba kutip semuanya, dan begini bacanya...Memang agak panjang tapi menurutku semua poin penting untuk diketahui.

"Nikah memang bukan sekedar cukup umur dan cinta mati. Lebih penting kesediaan untuk kompromi dan berani terima kelemahan masing-masing. Enjoy your life while being single and free, because believe it or not, you'll wish so hard to have a 'me time' once you have a family. I'm not against marriage. I'm against the idea that people have to be married at any cost. If you think marriage is the answer for everything, think twice. If dating already gives you headache, try multiplying it by 1000. That's marriage.

Don't get married with the idea that people will turn out better once they are married. Personality don't change just because people are married. When you marry someone, you'll marry not only the person you love, but also the bad habits, the temper, the work, the hobby, and the relatives.

Picture the thing you hate the most from your partner, imagine facing it for a lifetime, and be honest. If you are sure you can tolerate it, get married! If you marry your partner while hating his/her family, thinking it'll be just the two of you in the future, think twice. You can never avoid family, EVER! If you have to be someone else just to be able to get married, then you are doomed. No one can pretend forever. Sooner or later it'll wear you out.

If you think that you can be as free as you are now once you're married, then you're dreaming. Like it or not, you'll have to accept that things are different. If you wanna be married to feel secure, hire a security. Trust me, it'll cost you less. If you wanna get married because all your friends are married, wake up! They are not going to take responsibility of your future. The decision to get married should come from your heart, not from your family or friends. It's your life, not theirs.

Marriage needs the willingness to accept, adjust, compromise, and forgive from both sides. If you can do these, go ahead. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. The idea is to find a person that can make you feel perfectly alright. Tapi penting diingat bahwa marriage is not a game that will let you restart or log out without any harm once you face problems."

Memang benar anak muda masa kini tidak banyak diajarkan mengenai pernikahan, bagaimana sulitnya dan apa kendala terbesarnya. Bahkan ga jarang pernikahan muda berawal dari hilang kontrol yang menyebabkan semua menjadi kebablasan. Dari kecil pun kisah-kisah dongeng yang kita ketahui adalah di mana semua berawal dari single - menemukan pangeran - menikah - happily ever after. Yah, siapa yang tidak mau bahagia? Maka kiranya pernikahan tidak boleh dianggap sebagai finish line, harusnya dilihat kembali sebagai gerbang awal masuk ke dunia yang lebih rumit, penuh kekangan dan tanggung jawab, kalau boleh saya garis bawahi.

Saya jadi berpikir lagi. Yakinkah mau menikah?

"Ah. Barangkali nanti lingkungan juga yang akan memaksaku akhirnya..."

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 17, 2013 and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.

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